Monday, November 2, 2009

How Men Became Dominant...

We keep hearing that the society is full of male dominance or the practices that we follow are all centered towards male interests. Some call it male dominance, some call it male chauvinism and women generally attribute this gesture as an arrogance shown towards womanhood. But then, how it all started? I thought to extrapolate on what I read sometime back. Here you go...

The universal law of nature [or] the principle of evolution believes in 'Survival of the Fittest'. Let’s go to the period where the first single-cell organism came into existence. Its only job was to make its species prevalent in this earth and thus it started to split itself to reproduce more of its kind in this earth. To survive it needed nutrition and to spread, it needed reproduction. Slowly mutation came into play and suddenly two cell organisms emerged. This went on and on. A higher level organism never wanted to mate with its lower version mainly because every organism wanted to spread its race into the earth, evolve in their gene. To survive in the ecosystem, it has to be stronger than its predecessors. [This is why marriage in our culture is performed between people of same generation. The main reason is to bring the next level off springs fit and fine!] This kind of mutation process went on and on and humans [multi-cell organisms] came into the earth.

The main intention of humans [before civilizations emerged] was again to spread its race. Reproduction was on. When choice was considered for, who should earn bread for their daily living, it was mutually agreed that Men should do it. This is because women by nature of their body had to bear children and thus were not able to regularly participate in hunting or climbing trees et al. Thus women were at home taking care of the family and men had to go for hunting and bring food back home. This is why men went for work and it was initially done NOT with the intention to suppress women.

Men were involved in warfare, hunting and all outdoor activities to survive and protect their families. The male population got reduced slowly in this process of hunting and warfare. There came an imbalance in the men-women ratio, which showed a high threat to the spreading of human race. When a baby girl was born it wasn't considered a happy moment because the community already had lots of women and they desperately needed men to spread human race and to strike balance between men and women. This intention slowly went so rude to the level of woman infanticide.

Also the imbalance in the men-women ratio brought in polygamy and that too in men's favor. Women started to accept the same man because men population was less and it was considered legal that a man can have physical relationship with more than one woman. Spreading of human race and protecting human gene was more important to humans of that age, than monogamy or polygamy.

All the intentions were thus noble in those olden days and when civilizations began, these noble intentions slowly turned into a male-dominance dogma. The human race got established well enough and evolved over time but, the gene in men and women took time to evolve or change in their pattern. Thus men kept women under their hold, kept most of the rights/privileges with them, suppressed women to express their opinions and considered them a child vending machines.

Situations have changed now. But some practices in our society are still male centric. Anytime we are into any doubt on male-centric practices think back to those prehistoric ages and see if that practice bears any relevance. Considering men as hunters and women as home-defenders is the clue. Dominance whether done by man or woman is not right. So hormones, genes or prehistoric practices can't be used as a defense for any human action :-)

Seed: Why Men Can’t Think and Why Women Can’t Read Maps – Allan/Barbara!
Extension: Mani

Monday, August 17, 2009

It lies 'within'!

The crux of this blog is to stress that the solution for any problem lies inside and not outside. Let me support this statement spiritually, mythically, physiologically and philosophically to try make you believe this.

Swami Vivekananda believes in the power and eternity of Soul. He says that for any problem the solution lies inside. There is a shield between the soul and the mind that causes the disconnection. Upon good meditation and belief, the shield fades away leaving the soul answer all our questions. The soul has transcended many births and generations, whose depth can't be covered by any book/person. All answers thus lie within, according to him.

There is a small story in our epic Mahabharata where both Yudhistra and Duriyodhana were asked to go round the country to read people and their content levels. Yudhistra notices and reports all good when he returns, while Duriyodhana reports all the bad. It lies within! We see the world through our mind. How we are, so we see!

To bring a good habit into practice, the change has to come within. When people complain their genes or physiological heritage as a reason to their maladies and faults they commit, we shouldn't encourage. It’s all in the mind and what we tune in our mind controls the hormones in our body and our practices eventually.

Our own Mahatma Gandhi even asked us to be the change that we like to see. To extend my thought on the above consolidations, I will say that anything in this world is inside-out. The life in earth is a matter of cause-and-effect. The 'cause' is committed by us and it begets the ‘effect’. Thus I say that the direction is always inside-out!

Let’s start realizing the importance of our inner self. We are all like the seed which stores in it one big tree and countless fruits. It’s from 'within'. There is less a difference in the process of ‘sowing’ and 'burying'. Both happen inside the soil but the difference in the effect of both these process is manifold. It’s the difference between life and death, the difference between sprouting and decaying, the extremities! What we see deep within can be liveliness or decomposition. Let’s tune our inner self. There is the solution for all problems. Why wait? Search within!



Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Contributing to our value system

Some weeks before, I had to experience a disturbing incident. I took my father for some purchase and we had some loads of bags with us. Since my father had to withdraw some money, I stood outside the ATM holding all the bags, while he was waiting in the queue. I didn’t notice that he was facing some problems in entering his pin. As he saw a big queue of people waiting for their turn, he came out after three attempts. He is not new to ATM but of course, he is an old man and may be he didn’t get it right this time.

I saw a couple of frustrated faces when he came out. It disturbed me and I felt pity for him. It’s natural for anyone to get frustrated, if somebody takes time like this [Though I am not of that type especially with old people]. On top of these, I saw particularly one young man with his son talking something with a sarcastic smile on his face, looking at my father! May be, I was wrong in understanding his gesture. But, that juncture made me feel [bad] about where our society is heading. It questioned me on what is he passing to the next generation through his son! [If at all, my assumption was right]

Our values are getting degenerated is what I should say. I didn’t feel this because it was my father who was the victim. In general, I was worried about the attitude he was teaching his son. Any boy of age between 10 and 20 yrs looks his father as the role model. A boy of that age, starts admiring his father on everything and [un]consciously starts imbibing the traits of his father. I would have been happy, if this guy would have taught his boy to help old people like this who struggle. Minimally, he should have at least left the place quietly!

The values of the society lie in respecting the senior citizens of that society. If people are well respected and their emotions are well addressed, we can see more value in this social system. Like how Government has to play an important role in creating these values, we also have our dues to pay on the same lines. After all, our government is for the people, by the people and to the people.

Respecting our work makes us do our job better. Respecting our family makes us, live a moral and affectionate life. I believe that with 'love' comes 'respect', with 'respect' comes 'sincerity' and with 'sincerity' comes 'diligence' and 'diligence' makes you think smart towards success. Values get formed with continues success on our backs!

It starts at our home and expands outside. May be its time that we all cross-check on what we are passing to the next generation towards the value system. It’s all what we teach them. The way we live and behave, teaches them all.

Take Care!

Monday, June 29, 2009

Where is Heaven/Where is Hell

Wanted to bring out a debatable topic this time. Where is heaven and hell? To me, the concept of heaven and hell were coined to bring out some imaginary destination for life-after-death. It serves an utopia and nothing else. It is all about our mind w.r.t. what is heaven and what is hell!

The funny thing is that no person after death can come back to tell us, what is life after death :-) So it always stands a puzzle. The uncertainty, unpredictability and puzzling question of life after death has made lot of our ancestors coin their own version of death and also about life after death!

To me, there is no life after death. The whole world and its life force is an energy equation and we all know every equation needs a balance. The amount of positive energy should equal the amount of negative energy to balance the equation. To keep up this balance living organisms take [re]birth. When we die, the energy that we possessed, whether positive or negative, goes into the energy pool. Depending on what imbalance it creates, organisms get their birth. Humans possess more energy than animals, which possess more energy than worms/insects which possess more energy than trees and so on... The soul possess this energy and based on the good/bad it gets responsible for during its existence, it upgrades/degrades in its powers!

The above by itself is a big topic where I can ramble more :-) Not to digress here from our topic on heaven and hell. When I say, after death our energy goes to a central pool of energy, Why was heaven and hell coined? It was not actually to symbolize life after death. It has a lot to do with life that we live. The actions that we do during our lifetime take us through a trauma or bliss, which are characteristics of hell and the heaven. There is nothing more to it. We are responsible for our actions and we are the victim to the reactions that occur for our actions. When our ancestors say to do good to reach heaven, they simply mean to do good to be happy. It’s all about how to live our life happy and better. This generic information faded and distorted to different dimensions and made heaven/hell as destinations of life-after-death.

Now, who decided on what is good that helps us to be in heavenly state and what is bad that make us suffer in the 'hell' state? Nobody made these rules/guidelines. It evolved over time. Some of our actions would have given us unfavorable reactions and would have made us suffer. Some actions would have always helped us be happy. So over time our ancestors were able to shape up the principles of living. The strongest of these principles formed religions and the bits around them were just coined as practices towards better living.

This writing can go on and on, explaining/confusing more ... But, I just wanted you to think on these lines for sometime to see if it makes sense. I am not fully supporting this thought as I too have several questions over my head on the same lines! I just wanted to bring forth a dimension that heaven and hell are not really the destinations after death. They are our destinations towards all actions that we do during our lifetime.

Let’s try to live in the heaven always, while we live!

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Positive Criticism - Shiv Kera and Me

Every time we cannot get a chance to meet celebrities and share our thoughts. I read, by reading a book during coffee break, we are having a coffee with that author :-) So the title sounds this way :-) I was reading 'You can Win - Shiv Kera' and felt like talking about Positive Criticism that he has mentioned about. It sounded nice to me on what he explained about it in 2 pages. Read the excerpt if you like.

Checkpoint to criticism:
If we are criticizing a person on the right lines which will help his personal improvement, it is perfectly fine. If criticizing the person gives us a pleasure, then it could be a false criticism arising out of greed or vengeance. We should check that before we do.

If we are subjected to criticism, we should check on the same lines. We should use our wisdom in accepting/rejecting any criticism. If the criticism is out of ignorance it can be answered by a proper explanation. If the criticism is out of jealousy we cannot do anything about it. Take it positive as a compliment that you got for your work.

Why search for positive critics?
In life, people usually will like to remain in their comfort zones. They would like to be with people who will appraise them for whatever they have done [or] at least adjust to them no matter what they do. The fact is that 50% of people whom we meet don’t care what happens to us and the remaining 50% people are happy about what bad happen to us :-) People who do positive criticism are required for self improvement. If we find one, we should catch hold of them.

Some tips on 'How to Criticize':
How to criticize is an art. Always step into others shoes before you comment on them, to first see what we are criticizing is right? Never use the words like "You never do that ...", "You always do it this way ..." kind of statements as it immediately hurts the self-esteem of the other person. Always comment on the action and not the actor, criticize on the performance and not the performer.

Courtesy: You can Win - Shiv Kera. Chapter - 8 :-)
To extend my thoughts on this, self improvement is very much essential like the air we breathe. Life acts on us based on how we live it and thus we need to be with the right people who will prepare us in life to be a complete human.

To shell out of the comfort zone, needs a lot of struggle. To put us into the experiments is against the will of life, as everyone expects a relaxed trouble-free life. But the outcome of such a struggle elevates us to a place where the world will look upon with reverence.

Vivekananda said "In a day when you don't come across any problems—you can be sure that you are traveling in the wrong path". What a statement of wisdom this is!

Willingness to change towards positive suggestions helps us develop our wisdom. Slowly, our mind and soul can become our best critic. Conscience is a matter of, the way we are brought up. Even to tune ones conscience, wisdom is required. What the world sees to be good translates into positive criticism if you are with the right people. This criticism tunes our wisdom which trains/conditions our conscience. This makes us all set!

Someone said 'Live life when you are alive. Don’t die before you are dead'.

Love Life and Live it to the best!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

What we sow, we reap ?

Yes! A well known proverb! I can say it is a hackneyed phrase. Wanted to draw some tangential thoughts to this. So let’s think. Is this always true? Do we always reap what we sow?

I agree that Good deeds beget goodness and bad ones yields the bad. But, I feel it is not just 'what we sow', it is also 'where we sow' that matters! A rich soil yields good harvest. Thus the environment is an important factor as well! If a soil is not conditioned well for a particular kind of crop, does the harvest still be rich?

A good person amidst 1000 bad people is seen odd. I am not trying to say here to get used to the environment we belong to! I am not persuading to loose our identity but to create a conducive environment and condition the surroundings before we 'sow' our thoughts or actions.

A weed-out process should happen, where we first customize our ambience to think in our lines. We can't force our thoughts in that environment but we will have to convince the environment. A set of beliefs ONLY when is well accepted and followed, forms a religion. Any religious moral is believed across generations. Thus any thought to be trusted and believed needs sincere followers who should be convinced on what we want them to believe. The thought whether it becomes pervasive or extinct is dependent on on how we prepare our surroundings before seeding our thought.

Thus, don’t just think about 'sowing the right ones'. Think about the right place. A right seed in the wrong environment perishes with no trace of its being. We humans have great sense to think and create our environment rather than crib on the environment we live in. Any effort in the wrong direction goes futile.

The difference between 'living' and 'adaptation' is the difference between humans and other living organisms. Animals adapt and evolve to their surroundings. But we humans have the ability to create our living. So rather than complaining/adapting on the society we should act in such a way that right morals and right actions will happen in the environment that surrounds us.

Next time, when we try to 'sow' will we think on where we are doing it? Prepare the base properly so that what we 'sow' grows well and becomes beneficial to ourselves and others. I think, I sowed my thought here in an environment, where I believe people who read it will think about it :-)


Friday, March 13, 2009

Spending Vs Investing

What do we spend and what do we invest? The question came to my mind last week and I had to think more on it. The arena where this thought had to play was not just the financial grounds, but in our entire life. To hit the dart straightaway, ‘spending’ usefully towards a long standing benefit to you or others is ‘investing’!

Let’s go to a different dimension now by relating this to our life. How much of our time we spend and how much of our time do we invest? I keep 'time' as the baseline here, as this drives our age and lifetime.

If you put in your effort on something that is not useful to you the next moment, I call it spending. Say you getup late in the morning, catch an auto/taxi to reach on time to office, you might have reached office on time and could be perfectly ok with your official works. But, you have spent your energy, money and that travelling time in the wrong direction. A perfect start of the day is very important and you failed investing in that!

Devoting your time for your children is an investment on their growth. Investing time on music might make you feel pleasant. Investing time on meditation might make you feel inspired and strong. Interest varies between individual.

Another dimension here could be this! Whatever is against ones interest, he considers it a spending and the vice versa is investing. Putting your money to buy a big TV might be a spending for some. But, for some others they have invested their money towards entertainment. The few minutes they watch in that TV might still give them great happiness, energizes them and might fulfill their fantasies.

But, there are some universally accepted things which are investments for all of us. Think deep in your conscience and it will reveal you what is a real investment. Investments are more than just quenching your fantasies. It has to be something that gives you long standing benefits.

By analyzing on how much time in a day you 'spend' and think about how to convert that into an 'investment', one can improve his art of living. Iteratively doing this, the time we spend diminish and gives way to investments. I strictly believe that we should start investing in our life.

I consider blogging this, an investment. Not sure what you felt reading it :-)


Thursday, February 26, 2009

February - The month of Love!

The month of February was the first of its kind for me. I read a lot after a long time. Thanks to one of my friends, who was the main reason behind me doing a non-techie read, after a long time :-) But, writing here about something which is not from the book I read ... This thought kept on bothering me for a long time. I felt only if I push this out I will get space for the next one ...

What is life without love? I can't imagine. When a new acquaintance bloom its way into a great relationship, the feel is inexplicable. Everyone in life should build great relationships. I read in one of Chetan Bhagat's words that small sparks will keep the vehicle of life moving. Small excitements are required to keep life moving. Very true! Begin life in iota of acquaintances and build great relationships there on ...

The month of February makes me reminded of two things, My mom's birthday [13-Feb] and the Valentine’s Day. Both streamline to Love for me. The feel of motherhood is something great! She doesn't know how the baby will look like, color or looks, what he will become in life, good or bad. What an unconditional love ... amazing! A woman can be wrong but 99.99% a mother cannot be wrong! Great metaphor for love, right? Also, it is the first love we see in our life! A salute to the motherhood in this 'month’ dedicated for love.

How great it is to feel that we have people around us, who care for us. To be choosy on relationships is great. You are the happiest and blessed in this world when the one you choose to be a friend with, acknowledge it and reciprocate it. Some words are coined after a great thought, I would say. The word horizon is one such word, I like the most. You see it but you can't experience it in reality. But you can imagine and feel it the way you want. You can enjoy it to any extent you want. The feel of love is the same I feel. It’s an utopia and I have my own gestures towards it and my own reverence for it. I like to show it to all who like me. I wish God gives me that time and space for that!

You will be surprised to hear, I developed a good friendship for a lizard at my home in chennai. I was staying alone for 2 weeks with no one to speak. The disturbance on the first day was that lizard but as days went on, when I didn’t see it for 3 or 4 days and it appeared suddenly on one day, I felt so happy :-) I kept on looking for it on all the other days!

Robhin Sharma said this ... "When a baby is born, it cries while people surrounding the new-born are in gay! When a person dies it should be the reverse, where he/she lies down in peace with all-smiles and people around cry for the demise”. Build great relationships.

Stopping it here ... Feel like experiencing Love in all forms, all through my life ... Love is something great. isn't it?
Yours Lovingly,

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

How to look at life? – Letter to the soul!

The question keeps troubling me quite often. In fact, it haunts me. Sometimes going by strict guidelines and containing our life within those borders puts us to boredom. But, the way I feel like looking at it today, is to fight it brave! Yes ... It is a big battle that is given to us and we need to put in a relentless effort to sustain here.

Don’t bother much! There are ways to handle whatever that troubles you. It is not that you need to fight against the trouble always. Nor, we need to trouble the trouble before it troubles you. We can't be so proactive in life at all times. Sometimes, getting rid of [bypassing] the trouble is better than facing it. See, if you can do better without addressing it. That could be a wise decision rather than spending years to fight against it.

Everybody will commit mistakes in life. It can be a small one or a big one. Could stop there or might create a chain of mistakes. But yeah, the fact is life is too long to live it fully right. Always have this in mind. A small 2-D 8x8 chess board has so many tricks in it to master and so many knots to unravel. Life has many dimensions and many puzzles to solve. Lets not look life complex thinking of this. The intent is to say, life is big enough to spend it fully right.

The thing we will have to have in mind is not the cause of the mistake. But it’s effect. If you are able to correct the bad effects of your mistake and see things peaceful and serene, don’t bother about that again. The history of the mistake should be forgotten there. The lesson has to be taken. That mistake was one game given to you in your life where you didn't play well but you were able to come out of that debacle and the story ends there. Don't connect it to anything else in your life that happens in future.

See the God in you! Be kind to people. Love mankind. Enjoy and imbibe the nature. Who ever may console you when you are depressed, it’s you who should be willing to come out of it. Don’t rely fully on external sources to be consoled. It is mostly within you! Get to speak with those whom you like to ignite the engine and then on run the engine by your internal motivation force.

Play life like a bravo! It’s all about patching up the gaps and downs to make life smooth and even. Every mistake is corrigible when realized and acted upon at the right time. If not corrigible, at least its effect becomes negligible when you act fast upon it.

You will be fine and will rock the way you want[ed] to! Life is too short to spend worrying! On a practical note I remember this saying: "It's not wrong in life to expect to walk on a path full of roses; But its greedy to expect not even one thorn should prick your feet"


Sunday, January 4, 2009

Great Sayings!

A Very Happy New Year to you! This time I didn't want to write a message by myself. Rather, I wanted to take help from others to message you as well :-) Here are those ...

Inspirational Messages

"You are what you repeatedly do. Excellence is not an event - it is a habit."- Aristotle

Keep your face to the sunshine and you can never see the shadow."- Helen Keller

"Fear does not have any special power unless you empower it by submitting to it."- Les Brown

'A man may fulfill the object of his existence by asking aquestion he cannot answer, and attempting a task he cannotachieve.'- Oliver Wendell Holmes

"Give yourself an even greater challenge than the one you are trying to master and you will develop the powers necessary to overcome the original difficulty." - William J. Bennett

"One of the tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon - instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today."- Dale Carnegie

"Most great men and women are not perfectly rounded in their personalities, but are instead people whose one driving enthusiasm is so great it makes their faults seem insignificant."- Charles A. Cerami

Kindness and Love

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."- Plato

"It is one of the most beautiful compensations of life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself."- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost."- G.K. Chesterton

"Life is short. Be swift to love! Make haste to be kind!"- Henri F. Amiel

A Nice Prayer!

'God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change; the courage to change the one I can; And the wisdom to know the person in me.'