Monday, November 26, 2007

Maintaining Relationships ...

Our wisdom grows with age, is a common belief! But can something grow when nothing is seeded? Or, are we monitoring what grows is the growth of the seed or an unwanted weed?

A thought about maintaining human relationships is here. Say, I meet a person and have some job with him, just for two days; I start my interactions with him towards attaining my objective. Will any of his bad traits disturb me? I very well know that whatever he does, I can bear for two days and push off. But, if I have to stay with the same person on a committed relationship, it starts troubling me. Things get worser if that relationship has to blossom into a friendship or family.

Why these Frictions? Any relationship goes smooth until it enters its commitment zone. This zone of commitment is a very sensitive one. Something like a fragile glass, where a break-and-fix still leaves a visible crack and a spoiled beauty. What should we do?

The answer is simple. Expect minimally and utter your expectations to your partner. The partner could be your parent, friend, lover, wife, children or any one. Another beautiful way of putting the same stand-point is, what do you expect and is your partner aware of it or not! Question your partner! I will suggest you to question your friend not the friendship, question your lover and not the love.

Questioning a person tells him of your expectation whereas question the relationship stains it. It means that the trust is gone and the relationship becomes brittle. You have the right to question because you are into a relationship with your partner. So, question the relationship is something like you entered into a wrong relationship!

I always feel that it is better to tell your partner on what you want. Dont wait and see what he/she does to you. A lot of people command certain relationships to have certain inherent qualities and thereby they risk their own emotional side as well as their partner's.

A person enters into a relationship, when he/she has a liking. So by knowing what you expect, he/she tries to be that way! If even after knowing your pragmatic expectations, your partner fails to fulfil it, the relationship itself could be questioned.

Relationships are too complicated to form by itself. We build this chain piece-by-piece, making it long and sustainable for years. Even if one piece is weak, the chain may break. They say "A chain is as strong as its weakest link" and so are relationships.
Are you with me?

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